This journal is about my life. I'm officially seventeen now, so I thought I'd do an update for those of you who care at all. I doubt anyone will though. *shrug* In my life there are certain things I find important.

-My friends. They keep me sane. They keep me from breaking down and thinking nobody cares almost everyday. Summer is torture because I don't get to see them as often. This summer especially, because I was in Oshawa, so I couldn't just go walk to someones place or walk to the movies and meet them there. I think my depression developed more fully this summer just because I didn't have my friends to keep me steady. It's manifesting itself in annoying ways like getting mad for no reason (and I mean no fucking reason at all), breaking down and crying when thinking about myself, things like that.
-My boyfriend John Ledgerwood. I don't care what you say, he is my true love. I will love him forever. I feel like I need him, and I know that he needs me. We make eachother feel good about ourselves. I love him so much it's... it's really indescribable.
-My nana and papa. They're the best grandparents anyone could ever have. Nan is so kind, and Papa is just... papa. Funny, nice, a great vet. At least, he used to be. He's gone downhill recently. He's sick, confused. He doesn't eat, he sleeps all the time, he keeps falling down. I actually got a call from mum at work today saying he fell. He's in the hospital. His blood pressure was really low, so last we heard they where going to look at the aneurysm in his stomach. They think it may have burst. I'm really worried about him. He isn't well, even if it didn't. I've already designed the memorial tattoo. I don't care if I'm not 18 yet when he dies, I'm still getting it. I'll upload the design when I can. For now use your imagination: a baby blue heart with angel wings and a halo, and the veterinary symbol in the centre ([link]).

That's it I guess. Cya next time, have a gothy day.



Lieber Gott, Das Leben ist Hölle. Liebe Alice